The Fart of the Day

I know that it has been some time to write anything here, but today IS THE BIG DAY!!! So I want to say one big HELLO to all the farters that now read my blog (that includes you). So here it is: HEELLLLOOOO FAAARTEEERRSSSS!!!!!! This reminds me the classic movie that said "GOODMORNING VIETNAM!!" - GOODMORNING FARTERS.

Nothing special about this day; I went to my job, I saw many farters, they broke my balls (as usual) and I can only imagine what will happen when euro comes as a currency. Today there was a baby (a small child, not a beautiful woman) that forgot his teddy bear (that was actually a teddy koala) and we played with it: tossing it to each other. Until there was one colleague that performed "operation" on it to see what's inside it (i.e.: he tore it apart).

Yesterday it was the first day in my life that I bet so much money at risk (football match Anorthosi vs Apoel).. and WON! And the irony was, the guy that told me to bet, suggested to play APOEL to lose, but he was a supporter of Apoel himself. And when he went to the match, supporting Apoel, he saw his team losing (and me winning the bet).

I went and had Chinese with Yi, my (Chinese) girlfriend; she will fly to China next week... bon voyage! (and bring my back something expensive or I 'll kick your ass!).

I just want to say that lately I am bored with myself; bored of the job; don't know what to do - only thing I want is to sit, to eat, to shit and getting paid. I wish someday this dream will become true... Actually, if you think about it, this thing occurs to everyone of us at some point. And if you see the bigger picture, we all lucky after all (speaking of well-off European countries - I cannot speak for other regions because I don't know). This is how your dreams become reality: when you get 65 (a dirty old man / or dirty old woman), you get a pension, so this means that you get paid without working. When you become 75 the only thing you do is sitting. At 80 your only worry is to eat. And at 90 (if God lets you get there), the only thing happening is shitting your pants and just worrying for the carers to change your diapers.

There's one more category, that they are the luckiest: that if you have Alzheimer's you don't have to worry about anything. Patience then... and your dream will become true.

I really want to see that movie - cartoon The Simpsons.

The biggest news that I forgot to write, is that I rent an apartment - FINALLY I am becoming a responsible person. Now I don't do any laundry - I take them to my mother and takes care of them. I also go to my mother's and have meals. I learned how to "shop": going at my parent's house and rob their shopping.

The day before yesterday, Kolios - the neighbour came to my place and the only thing he was doing was to laugh like a donkey and farting like a mule. He got very fat, like a burro.

We went at Cablenet (an ISP) and got Internet and cable TV with many channels. I hope Cablenet is good otherwise I will shit and fart on them (at the same time)! The good thing of this case, is that Cablenet provides a free PORN channel, 24/7, so we can greatly masturbate those lonely nights, with beer in one hand and dick on the other. The only problem is who is going to clean the sperm off the floor afterwards?

I urgently need to take a job leave, so if anyone else is reading this (except me and my friend Oratios), I want him/her to give me a call (00357-99-REMOVED) so to arrange an orgy (ladies, gays, transsexuals, lesbians, bisexuals, Kolios, all the animal kingdom, ALL WELCOMED!). Except George Bush, he is NOT welcome, that asshole! If he dares to come to my party, I will cut his balls and make beads (KOMPOLOIN). God bless Cyprus!

In other news, I am a very serious gentleman... I will soon post my photo. My favourite position in sex is donkey-style. I am against drugs, against paedophilia: I fuck anything above 18 years of age only. I am a law-obeying citizen.

I want very much to go to Mexico, so I hope next summer I will go there. I accept donations at the bank account: REMOVE. To all good willing / open handed folks, help this boy to make his dream become true!

Now we go at politics part: Karamanlis did his foxy-whore thing (tin POUTANIA tou): he seduced the poor people and got re-elected. If I knew people were so easy to get convinced, I would get out at the balcony at my neighbourhood and shout "I WILL DO THIS, I WILL DO THAT.. I WILL!! I WILL!!.. I WILL!!" and I would be elected as mayor. Then from mayor I would get elected president (piece of cake - to many sheeps) and them, planitarhis (George Bush). I would implement Outopo's plan, but with some adjustments (note: Outopos is a crazy guy in Cyprus that had 200 ideas but he had 10 really good ones that our politicians cannot even think to implement them). Oups! Did I say "10"? - Make it 4, just to be on the safe side. I liked his idea of exercising at the countryside, jogging etc, take regular breaks from our job, stress-free urban planning...

I don't know whatelse to write right now, can I take the audience help? I hope somebody is reading what I am writing so he or she can pleasantly waste his/her time. Oratios has just farted, so he would enlighten me with the smell of his fart. The slogan of the day: "Make love not war", or, if you don't want to make love, "Fart and smell your own fart".

And A COMPETITION : in two parts: one for men and one for women. MEN: "How long did your sperm exploded at your recent masturbations?"; WOMEN: Same question about your fluids, how far they go?. The winner, wins a SAMSUNG state-of-the-art dildo (designed in Europe, assembled in Cyprus).

And a message for nature: To stop CO2 emissions so our earth is not destroyed, because the first victim of the rising sea level are the Tuvalu islands. I hope everything will go OK for them and get some justice.

I stink very much, I need a shower. I need a haircut. I need 4 months job leave. Wrong, make it a year. I need to leave you for now, enjoy life as much as you can, fart fearlessly, eat fearlessly (for women, better eat what you know is best for you: black, white or yellow). Have a shit with enjoyment,.. and be fearlessly lazy! And help others do the same.

That was all for today, farters. See you next week. FF (instead of "xx").

Cyprus Aristocrats Number One!

I got up about 12.. I had nothing to do, so I watched tv. I couldn't understand what I was looking at; I was just watching the moving images. Then I was walking around the house to kill time. Then I went at Yi's house. I went to check if she was ok or needed something. Then we had sex. Then watched tv. I couldn’t understand anything because it was in her language (Chinese). Then I told her I'd see her later and I left. Then I went as Acropolis park and I found my friend Kolios (to those that need reminding, he is the friend I support). We played basketball with Nikos, Kolios and one guy that I don't know his name. My team lost (me and the other guy that I still don't know his name). Probably the reason we lost is that I didn't know his name. Then we went for an ice tea (since we are talking about ice tea, I want to emphasize that when you say "ice tea" in Acropolis cafe, they get you ice tea. And lately some PATRONIES franchises came from abroad and when you say "ice tea" they get you some pee with ice that the only difference from the real pee with ice, is that they first put it in the fridge and then they give it to you. So NO MORE! WAKE UP PEOPLE! PSOMI PAIDEIA ELEUTHERIA! irrelevant, but we had to say something). Then I came home, sweaty, smelly from basketball, I sat on the couch and told my folks I was going to have a shower and I got into it after one hour and about after 200 times my mom told me that I smelt like shit. My friend Orestis called me and told me to play ping pong. So I accepted and went to his place. The first thing I saw outside his door was two hungry cats. I got inside and hummed the Rocky tune, signifying that I was ready for battle (to those that don't remember, get the movie and watch it before Stalone dies and the movie becomes collectible). Orestis asked me what I wanted to drink; I told him "I don't know" and he suggested to me some Chilean wine. Then he poured the wine and then he opened a cupboard and got out some cat food. He proceeded towards the two hungry cats and (actually, my opinion is that he demonstrated a new technique) he got some cat food with his both hands and put it down on different spots at the same time. The cats thrust at the same time, one on each spot. Then we pulled out the ping pong table, we opened it at the specially quartered space Orestis has (his old man's parking space) and we played ping pong. After 40 minutes we folded it and put it back. And right now I am here and I am writing to you these things.......... Actually, Orestis is typing for me (yes, I am) my first post. The night is not over yet, but most probably (now I will improvise), I guess I ll go home later and I will masturbate, or I will sleep (before I sleep I go to the toilet for a pee). And that's a normal day of my weekend. To those that are reading this post (IF anyone ever reads it hopefully I am not writing these things for my ass), as you can see, I am a normal human being that eats, sleeps, farts, shits, hates his job (like most people - actually the few things I like about my job are when I finish and go home, when I get paid and when I am on leave... so as you can see, I love my job). And closing (because it's fashionable to pass a universal message), I want to say especially to Bush (to all that don't know who is Bush, he is an ass-donkey that lives in a white house in Washington) to get laid more often, so poor people are not tortured by his shit. Make love, not war. But because we are in the 21 century, we say "get laid, no Bush!". And that's all folks!