Οι τρίσιες της βίλλας μου ξέρω γιω να ξεράνω

Η ζωή μου όλη ένα άδειο πορτοφόλι.

Σήμερα ήταν μια συνηθισμένη μέρα γενικά, αλλά έσιει μια φτομάδα που εσσωτρ'οομουν για μια μαλακισμένη που μου έφαε 200 ευρω, συναδέλφισσα που μου έταξε ότι ήταν να μου τα δώκει τα Χριστούγεννα τζιαι ως τωρά έδωκεν μου αέρα κουπανιστό. Τζιαι πιάννω την σήμμερα τηλέφωνο τζιαι λαλώ της "Θέλω τα λεφτά μου", τζιαι τι μου λαλέι "ήμουν άρρωστη τζιαι έπαθα πνευμονία" λαλεί μου, τζιαι εμάχουμουν να της πω "ψόφο να φκάλεις!". Μαλακισμένη πουτανοπρίχτρα! Τζιαι είπεν μου να μου τα δώκει τέλος του μήνα. Αλλά θορώ ότι τούτη η ιστορία πάει έξι μήνες... το τζιέρρατό μου... το ζαβροδέξι. Το ηθικό δίδαγμα: μεν δανείζεις ούτε του αρφού σου.

Άλλος γάρος τζιείνος που με ενευρίασε σήμερα.

Πιαννω τον να τον γυρέψω τζιαι πιάννν την γεναίκα του τζιαι τζιείνη αγχώνεται όπως το κλαμένο το πουττί, τζιαι πιάννει τον 200 φορές τζιαι κουκκουφά τον τζιαι τζιείνοθ σπάζουν τα 'ρχίδια του που την πίεση, τζιαι πιάννει με τζιαι φωνάζει μου εμένα.... ο γάρος.... ο ασαμάροτος.

'Αμα ενώσουμε μια λέξη, πόρτος τζιαι κλανής να μπου φκαίνει; Ίσον "πορτοκλάνης".

ΣΠΕ THE BEST! Για τον άνθρωπο, με ανθρωπιά... κλανιές by number by fart! Εν έσιει μια τράπεζα στην Κύπρο που να αξίζει. Καλλήττερα να επενδύσετε τα ριάλια σας στα κουνουππίθκια! Ή, αν θέλετε 100% επένδυση, επενδύσετε τα στην επιχείρηση του φίλου μου του Κόλιαντρου, Αλλά αν ξέρετε αν γίνει κάτι, εν ο άλλος που φταίει, ο συνέταιρός του, όι τζιείνος! Αστεοιεύκομαι φίλε μου κόλιαντρε, καλή τύχη στη νέα σου επιχείρηση.

Ο νέος πρόεδρος που εν να ψηφίσω, μόλις φυει ο γάααααρος ο Ανσστασιάδης, ο μαλακιπίτουρας, ο λεκές της τουαέτας, το φυστστό πορδί, η μούλα του Καϊρου, τζιαι ο γάρος ο ασαμάρωτος, τζιαι η όρνιηα η ξηστερισμένη, εν να ψηφίσω... τους βίζους της Μενεγάκης. Τουλάχσιτον ξέρω οτι εν να πείνω δωρεάν γάλα για την επόμενη πετναετία. Ψηφίστε βίζους της Μενεγάκης - γάλα Βλάχας κάνει καλό! Άλλη πουτάνα του Καίρου τζιείνη.

Αγαπώ πολλά τη δουλειά μου. Αγγούρκα ττορφαντά. Νευριάζω άμα πιάνει ο κόσμος τζιαι κλαμνει μου ερωτήσεις που τις βρίσκω πολλά ηιθιες, κατά την άποψή μου, αλλά δυστυχώς είμαι υπόχρεος να λύω τζιαι την κάθε κλανιά που αννο΄ιει το στόμα του ο καθένας τζιαι λαλεί. Τζιαι να πρέπει να εόμαι υπόχρεος εγιώ να υρίζομαι τις κλανιές του κάθε ππέζεβέγκη. Τζιαι να ανέχομαι τα καπρίτσια του κάθε μουλλά, αμπάλατου τζιαι αποσαράντοτου.

Τ'ωρα θα γράψουμε μάι βαθυστόχαστη εκπόνηση, η οποία είναι, "ο άνθρωπος είναι προορισμένος για να γαμά τζιαι να ρέσσει", για να το πούμε στα Αγγλικά για να καταλάβονυοι Αγγλόφωνοι φίλοι μας, "human destıny ıs to fuck... and run!" .

Τζιαι μια ερώτηση τζιαι παρακαλώ το κοινο που θα θκεβάσει, να μου πει τις απόψεις του: "Ποια ένει η αγαπημένη στάση του ουρακουτάγκου τζιαι το κολιού;". Τζιαι, μια άλλη ερώτηση: "τι κοινό έσιει ο ουραγκουτ΄γκος με τον κολιό;". Αν τζιαι το δε΄υ΄τεο εν πο΄λλά εύκολο:κουλιαντερίζουν τον ίδιο νου τζιαι ο κόλος του κολιού, εν κότσιηνος όπως του ουρακοτάγκου (I AM NOT GAY I AM NOT GAY I AM NOT GAY). "Τα όπλα δεν σκοτώνουν - εγώ σκοτώνω με τα όπλα!".

Τωρά τελευταία αρέσκουν μου τα θέατρα τζιαι το θέατρο έσιει ένα πολλά καλό: επαρατήρησα ότι γεμώνει πολύ πουττολοί. Πουττί μαυροματί - πουττί να φαν τζιαι οι κότες. Πούττος αρκόσιοιρος, πούττος ξηφτερισμένος, πούττος ξιουρισμένο, πούττος αφορμολοημένος. Πούττος, πούττος, πούττος - βίλλος, βίλλος, βίλλος - κόλος, κόλος, κόλος - τρεις τελείες.

Ο φίλος μου ο Οράτιος, κάθεται τζιαι γράφει τζιείνα που λαλώ, σαν το Δαλάι Λάμα με τα πόθκια σταυρωτά, τζιαι την πατανία του παππού, τζιαι κάθε πέντε λεπτά, κλάνει ποφυσιστούς πόρτους, που μυρίζουν σουβλάκια λυγμένα. Βίλλα λα μούζικα!

Τούτα θα είναι τα απομνηονε΄ματα που θα αφήσω για τη λύτρωση του Κόσμου!

Αρέσκει μου η Έλλη Κοκκίνου, θέλω να την ποσιήσω, της Μενα΄γακς α΄ρέσκουν μου τα βυζόμπαλά της, βασικά εν ιβλέπω πολλή τηλεόραση τζιαι εν ηξώρα ίντα άλλες συγχρωνες πουτάνες παρουσιάστριες έσιει για να τις ποσιιήσω, αλλά είναι σιουρος ότι ήταν να τις ποσιήσω τζιαι τζιείνες.... αν τις ήξερα. Γάμα, γάμα, εξίστησεν η βίλλα μου. Σαν τον ξιπετσμένο κουρκουτά. Αρέσκει μου πολλά η Τζίνιφερ Λοπέζ, θέλω να την πισσσιήσω τζιαι να της κάμω οχτάδημα. Αρέσκει μου η Ατζελίνα Τζολή, αλλά με βυζιά. Ζήτω οι άβιζες γυναίτζιες! "Άβυζος το μουνί της γυναίκας". Μαντόνα, κάχλισσα - Βίσση, σκατά - Μαντώ Μαυρογένους, τέλεια - Μπουμπουλίνα, σούπερ - Λόδρος Μπάϋρον, κάααααβλα (ο μύλος όλα τα αλέθει!). Το καλό το παληκάρι, ξέρει κι άλλη τρύπα να γαμήσει.

Είμαι περίεργος, πόσες τρύπες έχει το ανθρώπινο σώμα. Να τις μετρήσουμε που τατωρά: μια το φεξί αυτή, 2 το αριστερό, μια το αριστερο ρουθούνι τζιαι μια οτο αριστερο 4, μια το στόμα, 5, μια η τρύπα που κατουρούμεν, 6, μια ο κολος που σιέζουμε, 7, εεεεεε  7 τρύπες εν ναι; Έσει τζιαι άλλες; (εν ηξέρω ρε, έσιει τζιαι άλλες).  Αρσενιτιοι 7, γυναίκες, 8.

Γιατί οι ποεροι μας βρομούν πολλά; Διάφορα βαθυστόχαστα ερωτήματα: Γιατί αψιουριζούματε; Γιατί έχουμε φαούρα; Γιατί ερωτευούμαστε συγγεκριμένα άτομα τζιαι γιατί το συγγγεκριμένο και όι τα άλλα; Τι μας κάμνει να πηαίννουμε μόνο σε τζιείνο; Εν η χημεία; Ή εν οι βίζοι, ή ο πούττος, ο ξιουρισμένος, ή ο αξιπύριστος; Πίνε μπύρα, κάμνει καλό, βοηθά σε να κατουράς πολλά τζιαι καθαριζει η κυστη σου. Το ρέξιμο, που αποσκοπά; Να φκει ο αέρας που τα σωθηκα μας; Γιατί κλάνουμε; Που αποσκοπεί η κλανιά;

Τωρά στη δουλειά, πρέπει να το έγραψα τζιαι στα άλλα μπλογκ, τούτο που γράφω τουρά, παραγγέλνω γάαλα σοκολάτα, τζιαι κλάνω πολλούς ποφυσφιστούς πόρτους βρομερούς. Τουμιανιάζω τους ουλλους που τζιεμεσα. Μόνο πτυος μυριζομαι, εν να φυρτώ. Αφού την άλλη φορά λαλεί ένας συνάδερφος "ρε ανοίξετε κανένα παράθυρο τζιαι βρωμά δαμέσα". Εμάχουμουν να του πω "εν ο κόλος μου που κλάνει τζιαι λελεί σου "γεια"". Αλλά σαν καλός πολιτκός που είμαι, είπα του "κκιάλε έσιεις δίκαιο!". "Εν καλά που λαλείς!". "Βρωμά δαμέσα δα". "Άνοιξε κανένα παράθυρο τζιαι εν να φυρτώ!". Τζιαι η τραγική ειρωνία είναι, ότι την ω΄ρα που ελαλλούσα "βρωμα", ο κόλος μου άνοιξε διπα΄λατα την κολοτρυπίδα του και από μεσα του διάβγαινε ανάλαφρα ένα αέρινο αεράκι με την μυρωδιά του ζόλου. (Γμώ το, εφάμε τζιαι την Άγκαθα Κρίστη!). Καλά εν τω συζητώ πάλε, τον Ηρακ΄΄η Πουαρό εφάμεν τον που τζιαιρό!

Την δουλειά μου αγαπώ την πολλά τζιαι λαλώ ότι αγαπώ την, αλλά εν σαν ανέκδοτο που ένει. Μεσ' τη δουλειά μου έχουμε 5 γάρους, 3 μούλες, 2 κούνους τζιαι εγώ ο φτοχός μεσ' τη μέσα. Κλείστε το τζιαι κανεί ολάν! Την ράτσα σας τζιαι τον καπιλέ σας μέσα! Άντε γεια! Εν έσιετε υπόθεση! Καλύτερα να πέρνω το σιήλο μου περίπατο, παρά να θωρώ τις φάτσες σας! Ζαόμματοι! Αμπάλατοι! Αρκορούφητοι! Τζιαι σε τελική ανάλυση, εν ούλλοι κλασομπανιέρες. Τζιαι για να βάλουμεν μια τελεία σε τουτα ούλλα: fuck and love it's gooood. THE END.

(Σημείωση: το κείμενο μπαίνει σε καθαρεύουσα, τζιαι όποιος εν καταλάβει, να πα 'να γαμηθεί τζιαι να φέρει την είσπραξη! Δεν μας καίγεται καρφί! Σε ελεύθερη μετάφραση: στον πούτσο μας! Ή, αν ήμουν γεναίκα, "στο μουνί μας"!. Ή αν ήμουν τραβεστής: "στα πουτσόβιζα μου!". Ή αν ήμουν διφυλετικός: "στην ανωμαλία μου!". Άτε κανεί, εβαρέθηκα, έφυα!).

We say good evening to all short whore-bying-men ("konto-poutanoi")

We call "kontopoutanos" someone from our job - a colleague. He is short and grande lafazanis (says lying bullshit all the time). All day he stupidly laughs like the mule of the bishopry ("opws tin moula tis episkopis"). He sits and works for one hour and the rest of the hours he is playing with his dick. The  other colleague, opposite me, drinks 10 frappes and 10 nescafes per day and has 5 breaks per day - half hour each. The other whore "the xiaxiou" with the shining eye that sits on my right, from 8pm until 2:30pm, she scratches her pussy. My supervisor, he wouldn't know how to remove his own eyes. He is such an "ambalatos" (useless) and... useless, all day he calls the other colleague to help him with the system. The other poor colleague -she is sick, into her own world- and the last guy in my department, he is a spineless snake. He is dirty, filthy, miserable, thrice-wretched. So, the message we want to convey is that the Cooperative Bank will exist forever. One good advice: run to buy shares of Coop! It is a good way to throw your money into the sewage.

Now we shall talk about sex. If you want to break your dick, throw the ironing board on it! And then, as your dick is broken, tell the woman to make you horny.

My dog has an obsession and he thinks that the blanket is a female dog. And I have a problem: every time it is winter and I want to cover my legs, he jumps and comes and fucks my legs - twice! I.e. he fucks, he cums and then does it again. He licks his dick and does it again.

The last time Rikkos ("Gantemis", the unlucky one) went to a prostitute to fuck, she told him "here is the towel, go to the bathroom and wash your dick".

About food. Lately we moved from old Strovolos to Acropolis/Athalassa area. And all day we eat like donkeys, cheese-pussies and anaro-pussies (tyropittes/cheesepies and anaropittes/anaripies) from "Cousin" ("Xaderfos"). And we became like the male transvestite sterile pigs of Cairo.

The joke of the day. Orestis my friend told me this joke. "-What is pussy and volcano?".................... if your reply was "Pussy-yama", then you are correct.

Economic forecast: I predict recovery of Greece's economy.... when I am dead and being eaten by worms - i.e. after 100 years, when I will be 135 years old. Long live Greece - keep up the good work! In the next elections they should vote for "Forged Dawn" and if they want real renewal, they should vote for my aristocratic dick! Then I will cum with dignity on all the faces of the politicians.

Music. Invest in quality music by buying CDs of our friend Adamos Katsantonis. Really, his music is THE SHIT (and that's a very good thing)! It fucks and passes! ("Gama tziai ressei!"). Special issue CD of only 500 copies, search for "Katsantonis North Korea" in YouTube in about a month.

I have the solution for the global economic recovery. Invest in DickCoin™ of the Cyprus Aristocrats®. Everyone, young and old, buy DickCoin™ of the Cyprus Aristocrats® and exchange with any sex services- for free. Dicks and pussies in one cauldron. Or differently, as my mother used to say back in the time, "koutsia tziai kolokasi se enan topo en na pasin" (broad beans and colocasia will go to one common place).

Unusual event of the day. Pick an audio recorder, if you have one, but before you do that, feed your dog any bullshit that you don't need - preferably, expired products. Maximum 10-15 days expired products, so we don't poison him, as we are animal lovers. And when he starts farting, record his fart. You will be surprised to find out that the fart of the dog is not much of a big difference with the fart of the human.

One of the greatest pleasures of life is wanting to shit, but you are in a meeting so you can't,you  hold the shit on you, you want to make diarrhea and feel your ass about to explode with shit, but can't do that and when the meeting is over, you leave in a hurry and go to the toilet, put down the toilet lit in a hurry and before you sit, the shit starts coming out and you feel that you have shitted your own guts. Believe me, it is one of the biggest pleasures in life.

Since we a re talking about shit, try out with your girlfriend something erotic and at the same time disgusting. Get your girlfriend/boyfriend to lay down, take a hot dog, eat it and at the same time shit it on him/her. If s/he tells you "You are a donkey, an asshole and a useless", this means that s/he doesn't love you! It is a test so you can tell whether your boy/girlfriend truly loves you.

....

We are now back, after a 3-minute shitting break. "Shitting is goooooooooooooooooooooood".

We revert now on the topic of work conditions. Kontopoutanos (if you remember, the short whore-buying-man), every time he says bullshit (because he is the arch-bullshitter of the company), we specifically shout at him "bring on the measuring tape!" (he claims he has a long dick, where we all bet that his dick is less than 11 cm!). "BRING ON THE MEASURING TAPE, GUYS!". Last time, we wanted to feed  him bourekia without cream (bourekia is a sweet pastry), we would put the yeast ourselves. We hope you understand what we mean, regarding what we want to put in the yeast! (To anyone that did not understand: abundant creamy cum!). And him, that donkey, laughed like a BIIIIIIG donkey!

Another joke: There was the papa-donkey and the son-donkey. As they were walking and wander in the field, they saw a wedding celebration. And the son-donkey asked the papa-donkey "dad, what are they doing?". And the papa-donkey replied "they are getting married". And the son-donkey said "father, am I married?". And the papa-donkey looked at him in the eyes and told him "no my son, in order to get married, you must be a BIIIIIIIG donkey!". So, the moral of the story: before you get married, you have to be certain that you have lived your life, you had enough fun and simply now you are old, you have become an old fuck and that you want something stable. Marriage is GOOOOOOOOD.

Recipes. How to cook Indian chicken: lot's of curry, a bit of ginger, garlic, paprika, salt, turmeric, chilly oil and whatever you have in the cupboard. Olive oil. LOTS LOTS LOTS LOTS OF ONIONS! And yogurt. Oh the horniness!

A joke. What does a Scot do in order not be be hungry so often and need to eat? He eats once a week REALLY much (on Monday), then he blocks his asshole with cork and keeps his shit until Sunday, so to depreciate the food, until he eats again next Monday.

That's all for today - eat well, shit well, fart well, fuck well and most importantly, tell to everyone that don't like you, to smell your asshole.

Goodnight, sweet dreams, have a good sleep, see you again and try to fart less farts under the bedsheets.

P.s.: Too much farts create a hole in the ozone layer. Protect the planet, eat ecologically, fart ecologically.

THE END.

We have been depleted by masturbations (Εφαν μας οι Μουτσιές)

Hello, my faithful readers! Nokos Nokou is back! Renewed and refreshed, With lot's of lot's of farting news. Today is Saturday 10 March 2012 and according with the calendar of Maya, it's the end of the world. They had lot of free time in their hands and they were writing bullshit. Κι όμως είμαι ακόμα εδώ, κι αυτό το καλοκαίρι.

Today I woke up at 8am to go to the university, at 9am was the class, but, I opened my eyes at 9am, ekoproshilliaza (I was a lazy dog) for one hour in bed, so I went at class at 10am. The teacher was breaking our balls for 2 hours, and in the end I got bored and I left during the break.

I went to the mall with Demis (he is my "lucky" friend - when he is with me, all goes "well" hahahaha in fact, every time I go out with him I am lucky if I am still alive in the end!). Friday's had an offer, 9.99 Euro and we decided to eat there and in the end it was proven that it was just a bullshit: chicken was like rubber, and we had to change four seating places (Gademis "Demis", was grumpy, hurting his back, and at the same time he was hurting my balls). Final result was: instead of planning going to Friday's, go buy a glass bottle of Coca-cola (or any other soft drink you like), fart inside and smell it. Friday's was bullshit.

Then we went to Carrefour (super market), during the time there Demis was breaking my balls, that "he wants to fuck", "he wants to fuck", and in the end he revealed that his relationship with his (future) girlfriend goes too slowly (he said she has nice tits and wants to fuck her - but my other friends that they saw her, they told me that she looks like a ghost of the Louvre (στοισιόν του Λούβρου))! He told me he couldn't stand it anymore, so he went to Ms. Soulla ("massage" place), Soulla told him "we are a serious massage place and we don't do "detonations" ("εκτόνωση"), but because you are a client since years, we will do it for you!". In the end, a Chinese girl came (that he told me she was stinking) that she was masturbating him, but because she was smelling, he couldn't come! In the end she told him to do a blow job to him and (IN THE END), when he came ("liquid explosion"), he attempted to give her 10 euro. But she told him "it's 20 euro, for using mouth"! And he became angry like fire, and he gave her only 10, and left.

My friend Demis, at the state he is in now, he can even fuck a plastic pot ("mastrappa").

Because I love my lucky friend, I wish him to get what he desires. At his wedding, his present will be a clean underwear. Basically, my friend Demis inspired me to create a patent for those men that they come in their underwear, to have a special shaft to take the cum outside.

I like the "cigar" biscuits of Papadopoulou.

I went to Komanetsi sporting center, I got exercised, swam 10 minutes and my dick became dead tired. I like Komanetsi because I see a lot of black-eyed pussy there.

And then I came to my friend Orestis and he was very happy, because all day.... he even fucked the sofas! I am very happy for my friend, because he knows how to live his life with quality.

I wish my Joker lottery to win and tell my boss at job "fuck your momma's pussy - I quit!" ("το σιήστο που σε φκαλε, παραιτούμαι"). But because I am also a good man, I would want to do a benevolent thing at my job, meaning, to pay a zingolo (male prostitute) to fuck the unfucked "gerontokori" sitting next to me, that she made my balls as if they are bells (έκαμεν τα αρχίδια μου καμπανέλλες). Also, the zingolo will receive extra bonus if he manages to make her piss from the horniness, and if he manages to stick a 25cm dildo in her ass - all inside! Oullon mesa!

Also, I wish for APOEL to give some money to our government that is currently in financial crisis. Since the government can't generate money, and the EU can't give us, at least FIFA can give to us. The new slogan is "FIFA supporting the Cyprus economy"!

I wish my friend Orestis to spend his time nicely and to keep writing that shit I am narrating at him.

I like sex, but where is it? I like beer, but where is it? I like travels, but where are they? Alla pou nta? E gamo to shisto mou, epian mas i pounta!

The tip of the day: If someone makes you angry and he is a colleague, a way to take revenge on him is to drink cold milk in the morning and fart at him for the whole day during job.

May the Enlargement of Noko Nokou be always with you!

OK, that's all.

The Fart of the Day

I know that it has been some time to write anything here, but today IS THE BIG DAY!!! So I want to say one big HELLO to all the farters that now read my blog (that includes you). So here it is: HEELLLLOOOO FAAARTEEERRSSSS!!!!!! This reminds me the classic movie that said "GOODMORNING VIETNAM!!" - GOODMORNING FARTERS.

Nothing special about this day; I went to my job, I saw many farters, they broke my balls (as usual) and I can only imagine what will happen when euro comes as a currency. Today there was a baby (a small child, not a beautiful woman) that forgot his teddy bear (that was actually a teddy koala) and we played with it: tossing it to each other. Until there was one colleague that performed "operation" on it to see what's inside it (i.e.: he tore it apart).

Yesterday it was the first day in my life that I bet so much money at risk (football match Anorthosi vs Apoel).. and WON! And the irony was, the guy that told me to bet, suggested to play APOEL to lose, but he was a supporter of Apoel himself. And when he went to the match, supporting Apoel, he saw his team losing (and me winning the bet).

I went and had Chinese with Yi, my (Chinese) girlfriend; she will fly to China next week... bon voyage! (and bring my back something expensive or I 'll kick your ass!).

I just want to say that lately I am bored with myself; bored of the job; don't know what to do - only thing I want is to sit, to eat, to shit and getting paid. I wish someday this dream will become true... Actually, if you think about it, this thing occurs to everyone of us at some point. And if you see the bigger picture, we all lucky after all (speaking of well-off European countries - I cannot speak for other regions because I don't know). This is how your dreams become reality: when you get 65 (a dirty old man / or dirty old woman), you get a pension, so this means that you get paid without working. When you become 75 the only thing you do is sitting. At 80 your only worry is to eat. And at 90 (if God lets you get there), the only thing happening is shitting your pants and just worrying for the carers to change your diapers.

There's one more category, that they are the luckiest: that if you have Alzheimer's you don't have to worry about anything. Patience then... and your dream will become true.

I really want to see that movie - cartoon The Simpsons.

The biggest news that I forgot to write, is that I rent an apartment - FINALLY I am becoming a responsible person. Now I don't do any laundry - I take them to my mother and takes care of them. I also go to my mother's and have meals. I learned how to "shop": going at my parent's house and rob their shopping.

The day before yesterday, Kolios - the neighbour came to my place and the only thing he was doing was to laugh like a donkey and farting like a mule. He got very fat, like a burro.

We went at Cablenet (an ISP) and got Internet and cable TV with many channels. I hope Cablenet is good otherwise I will shit and fart on them (at the same time)! The good thing of this case, is that Cablenet provides a free PORN channel, 24/7, so we can greatly masturbate those lonely nights, with beer in one hand and dick on the other. The only problem is who is going to clean the sperm off the floor afterwards?

I urgently need to take a job leave, so if anyone else is reading this (except me and my friend Oratios), I want him/her to give me a call (00357-99-REMOVED) so to arrange an orgy (ladies, gays, transsexuals, lesbians, bisexuals, Kolios, all the animal kingdom, ALL WELCOMED!). Except George Bush, he is NOT welcome, that asshole! If he dares to come to my party, I will cut his balls and make beads (KOMPOLOIN). God bless Cyprus!

In other news, I am a very serious gentleman... I will soon post my photo. My favourite position in sex is donkey-style. I am against drugs, against paedophilia: I fuck anything above 18 years of age only. I am a law-obeying citizen.

I want very much to go to Mexico, so I hope next summer I will go there. I accept donations at the bank account: REMOVE. To all good willing / open handed folks, help this boy to make his dream become true!

Now we go at politics part: Karamanlis did his foxy-whore thing (tin POUTANIA tou): he seduced the poor people and got re-elected. If I knew people were so easy to get convinced, I would get out at the balcony at my neighbourhood and shout "I WILL DO THIS, I WILL DO THAT.. I WILL!! I WILL!!.. I WILL!!" and I would be elected as mayor. Then from mayor I would get elected president (piece of cake - to many sheeps) and them, planitarhis (George Bush). I would implement Outopo's plan, but with some adjustments (note: Outopos is a crazy guy in Cyprus that had 200 ideas but he had 10 really good ones that our politicians cannot even think to implement them). Oups! Did I say "10"? - Make it 4, just to be on the safe side. I liked his idea of exercising at the countryside, jogging etc, take regular breaks from our job, stress-free urban planning...

I don't know whatelse to write right now, can I take the audience help? I hope somebody is reading what I am writing so he or she can pleasantly waste his/her time. Oratios has just farted, so he would enlighten me with the smell of his fart. The slogan of the day: "Make love not war", or, if you don't want to make love, "Fart and smell your own fart".

And A COMPETITION : in two parts: one for men and one for women. MEN: "How long did your sperm exploded at your recent masturbations?"; WOMEN: Same question about your fluids, how far they go?. The winner, wins a SAMSUNG state-of-the-art dildo (designed in Europe, assembled in Cyprus).

And a message for nature: To stop CO2 emissions so our earth is not destroyed, because the first victim of the rising sea level are the Tuvalu islands. I hope everything will go OK for them and get some justice.

I stink very much, I need a shower. I need a haircut. I need 4 months job leave. Wrong, make it a year. I need to leave you for now, enjoy life as much as you can, fart fearlessly, eat fearlessly (for women, better eat what you know is best for you: black, white or yellow). Have a shit with enjoyment,.. and be fearlessly lazy! And help others do the same.

That was all for today, farters. See you next week. FF (instead of "xx").

Cyprus Aristocrats Number One!

I got up about 12.. I had nothing to do, so I watched tv. I couldn't understand what I was looking at; I was just watching the moving images. Then I was walking around the house to kill time. Then I went at Yi's house. I went to check if she was ok or needed something. Then we had sex. Then watched tv. I couldn’t understand anything because it was in her language (Chinese). Then I told her I'd see her later and I left. Then I went as Acropolis park and I found my friend Kolios (to those that need reminding, he is the friend I support). We played basketball with Nikos, Kolios and one guy that I don't know his name. My team lost (me and the other guy that I still don't know his name). Probably the reason we lost is that I didn't know his name. Then we went for an ice tea (since we are talking about ice tea, I want to emphasize that when you say "ice tea" in Acropolis cafe, they get you ice tea. And lately some PATRONIES franchises came from abroad and when you say "ice tea" they get you some pee with ice that the only difference from the real pee with ice, is that they first put it in the fridge and then they give it to you. So NO MORE! WAKE UP PEOPLE! PSOMI PAIDEIA ELEUTHERIA! irrelevant, but we had to say something). Then I came home, sweaty, smelly from basketball, I sat on the couch and told my folks I was going to have a shower and I got into it after one hour and about after 200 times my mom told me that I smelt like shit. My friend Orestis called me and told me to play ping pong. So I accepted and went to his place. The first thing I saw outside his door was two hungry cats. I got inside and hummed the Rocky tune, signifying that I was ready for battle (to those that don't remember, get the movie and watch it before Stalone dies and the movie becomes collectible). Orestis asked me what I wanted to drink; I told him "I don't know" and he suggested to me some Chilean wine. Then he poured the wine and then he opened a cupboard and got out some cat food. He proceeded towards the two hungry cats and (actually, my opinion is that he demonstrated a new technique) he got some cat food with his both hands and put it down on different spots at the same time. The cats thrust at the same time, one on each spot. Then we pulled out the ping pong table, we opened it at the specially quartered space Orestis has (his old man's parking space) and we played ping pong. After 40 minutes we folded it and put it back. And right now I am here and I am writing to you these things.......... Actually, Orestis is typing for me (yes, I am) my first post. The night is not over yet, but most probably (now I will improvise), I guess I ll go home later and I will masturbate, or I will sleep (before I sleep I go to the toilet for a pee). And that's a normal day of my weekend. To those that are reading this post (IF anyone ever reads it hopefully I am not writing these things for my ass), as you can see, I am a normal human being that eats, sleeps, farts, shits, hates his job (like most people - actually the few things I like about my job are when I finish and go home, when I get paid and when I am on leave... so as you can see, I love my job). And closing (because it's fashionable to pass a universal message), I want to say especially to Bush (to all that don't know who is Bush, he is an ass-donkey that lives in a white house in Washington) to get laid more often, so poor people are not tortured by his shit. Make love, not war. But because we are in the 21 century, we say "get laid, no Bush!". And that's all folks!